Mad Saint Jack thinks that he’s seen the questioning of AG Holder by Darrell Issa before.
Spit-take warning – don’t drink and read.
Tag: humor
Politically Incorrect Joke
Got this one via email from my brother:
The Dead Parrot
At dawn the telephone rings, “Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.”
“Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”
“Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead.
“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”
“Si, Senor, that’s the one.”
“Damn! That’s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?
“From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.”
“Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”
“Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”
“Dead horse? What dead horse?”
“The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.”
“My prize thoroughbred is dead?
“Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
“Are you insane? What water cart?”
“The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.”
“Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”
“The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
fire.”
“What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a
candle?!”
“Yes, Senor Rod.”
“But there’s electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”
“For the funeral, Senor Rod.”
“WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!”
“Your wife’s, Senor Rod. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom-made Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock. “
SILENCE……….. LONG SILENCE………VERY LONG SILENCE…………..
“Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you’re in deep shit.”
Hey, this is a gun blog. The joke’s got a gun in it….
I Deny Everything
FAIL
I got this one from my brother.
Mom Update
I went to see her yesterday in Cardiac ICU. They’d tried to take her off the ventilator, but she’s not breathing deeply enough on her own yet, so the tube went back in.
As a consequence, she can’t talk. As I stood at the foot of her bed, I said “It must be frustrating not being able to talk.” She nodded her head. “I’ll just stand here and savor the moment, then.”
That earned me the stink-eye.
“You can kick my ass later.” Vigorous nod.
Even Scott Adams Gets It
Beans, bandages and bullets. Trade goods for the coming zombocalypse!
It’s an Honor Just to be Nominated
I knew my NRA Patron membership would be good for something!
Sean Sorrentino suggests that perhaps the NRA needs another “Cincinnati revolution” where the hoary old-guard is thrown out in favor of more fire-breathing rights-defenders. He lists 14 possible nominees, of which I am one. I had to laugh out loud at his description of me:
Kevin will be prepared at any time to drop 100,000 words of extensively footnoted explanations on one of two subjects. How gun control is racist, sexist, immoral, and fattening. And how American schooling is designed by socialists to teach conformism and government control to kids in an effort to demoralize future generations and make them less likely to try to control their own destiny.
Yeah, that about covers it.
The others are just as amusing.
I Think it Pretty Much Works This Way
Scott Adams ran a short series of Dilbert strips beginning February 24, 1992 that I want to reproduce here because I think they nailed the 2008 election in a rather prophetic manner:
And the Joe Biden pièce de résistance:
Bloggers in the White House?
Stacy McCain has brought back an old idea. Glenn Reynolds for President! Hell, I’ll even go with the original Vice Presidential nominee, Rachel Lucas, regardless of the fact that she’s living in Europe now.
(Original artwork by Chris Muir)
The cabinet secretaries and ambassadorships will have to change, but what the hell, Elect the Great in 20082012!
Glenn’s fingers say “No, no!” but his heart is saying “YES! YES!” (He’s got to be better than a syphilitic camel, right?) Expect a national tour by luxury coach, wrapped in patriotic imagery to begin July 4!
Quote of the Day – Tactical Children Edition
Last night at Say Uncle’s, along with the eight other bloggers who showed up, Ry Jones brought his girls to play with Uncle’s kids. About 8 o’clock, Uncle came in and announced that all four of them were in the back yard playing, and all of them had tactical flashlights – Surefires and the like. “We have tactical children!” somebody said.