Tag: snark

In relation to yesterday’s (Belated) Quote of the Day, I just received this via email. I’m not even going to go to Snopes to see if it might even possibly be real, I’m just going to roll with it:

They Walk Among Us

A Washington DC airport ticket agent shares the following 12 experiences that demonstrate the intelligence of our politicians and, therefore, why our country is in trouble!!! Oh boy!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.”

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa”

His response — “click!”

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Socialist Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, “Don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!” (OMG!)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” She said, “But they look so close on the map.” (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Aghhhh!)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, “No, why do you ask?” he replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is FAT ( Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?” I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever, smarty!”

11. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. “Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.”

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the Congressman.

After some searching, I came back with, “I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Rhino anywhere.”

The man retorted, “Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo , do you?”

The reply? “Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”

What’s worse; that someone would write something like this, or that I don’t really have a problem thinking it might just be true?

Tell Me Again?

Just received via email from my brother:

Tell me again why people thought GWB was so stupid?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky?

If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the non-existent “Austrian language,” would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisors with people who cannot seem to keep current on their income taxes, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to “Cinco de Cuatro” in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the fourth of May (Cuatro de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment?

If George W. Bush had misspelled the word advice would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoe as “proof” of what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on “Earth Day,” would you have concluded he’s a hypocrite?

If George W. Bush’s administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually “get” what happened on 9-11?

If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how he inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had proposed to double the national debt within 10 years, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given the unions a majority stake in GM and Chrysler, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can’t think of anything? Don’t worry. He’s done all this in 6 months — so you’ll have three years and six months to come up with an answer.

Make sure you catch tomorrow’s QotD.

EDITED TO ADD: If George W. Bush had given China an autographed (his autograph) basketball as a diplomatic gift, would you have thought it tacky and cheap?

But I Thought Obama Was Loved Worldwide!

I don’t recall this happening to George Bush. He might have bombed their cities.

I haven’t seen these on the blogs I regularly follow (sorry if I dissed anyone, but there are only so many hours in a day, and I do have to earn a living and sleep occasionally. And go shooting. And reload. And squeeze home maintenance in there somewhere.)

Obama in Russia:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1C_NWMRs8Q&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&w=425&h=344]

Obama in Saudi Arabia:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t439ruGCqRw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&w=425&h=344]

No one wants to shake his hand? They must all be RACISTS!!

Found here, the blog of the local AM talk-radio morning show guy.

UPDATE: The commenters called it – the gestures Obama makes are not reaching out for handshakes, they’re “introductory” gestures, like “This is so-and-so” and so-and-so gets their hand shaken by the person they were just introduced to. Knowing that, it looks obvious. Not knowing that, it doesn’t. Clever editing, viral marketing, and I bit.

I was wrong.